OK dear reader, this is a simple article about a seemingly simple self protection movement. As in most cases many don’t read the fine print (I promise in this article you’ll get the good, the bad, and the ugly about the headbutt) Let’s imagine for a moment that you and your significant other are out for a night on the town. Dinner, movie, maybe some dancing (Ladies I swear we can dance we just need to be coerced) At any of the public environments listed above (I’ll let you decide where this scene happens) You and the apple of your eye are having a beautiful romantic moment. Staring lovingly into each other’s eyes, when all of a sudden a drunk loser POS interrupts.
Now he’s not being verbally violent or physically violent, so no John Wick pencil movement. He’s just being a loud jerk, you’ve asked him to leave, also known as deescalating the situation. That’s the fancy industry term, you’re welcome. Nope, he’s still in your face, so close now you can smell the Jagermeister on his breath. Yes I threw up a little in my mouth thinking about it.
At this moment you remember every Guy Ritchie, Jack Reacher, superhero movie where the badass protagonist a.k.a. a fancy word for a good guy deploys a wicked awesome headbutt, making the bad guy stunned, possibly knocked out.
Insert sound three, two, one…. It was at this point where you screwed up.
You attempt to perform a headbutt and aside from hurting your head, you leave zero effect on the bad guy and now he’s really pissed off.
Before we get to how to give a headbutt, let’s be clear who not to use this headbutt on. *Trigger warning! Profiling alert.*
OK if your opponent is from England, Ireland, Scotland or any freaking place that has the word land in its name don’t bother attempting this headbutt on them. Why, you ask? Because they have a genetic advantage and you are going to be in a world of hurt and let’s just leave it at that.
So let’s give you an easy checklist of what to do and what not to do regarding the deployment of the infamous headbutt a.k.a. the Glasgow kiss.
Let’s start with what NOT TO DO when it comes to deploying a headbutt. Don’t wind your head back. Why? Well the obvious reason is because you’re telegraphing your headbutt to your opponent. However it’s also because biomechanically you are setting yourself up for failure.
Don’t whip your head forward. Why? You will not be generating the most effective amount of energy to use the headbutt and more than likely you will be striking the wrong part of face or head.
Don’t hit the front of your head to the front or top of the opponent’s head. Why? The easy answer is because you cannot be sure that your cranium is stronger than their cranium. If you remember the words above, if there’s anybody from any country that ends in the word “land” you are already genetically at a disadvantage. But the truth is it will be a faster, more effective attack, if you just hit anywhere but the top or forehead part of your opponent’s cranium.
Here’s what TO DO when deploying a head butt. Tuck your chin, just a lil bit. Why? Because this ensures that when you shoot your head forward, you are going to make sure that you hit the appropriate target.
Shoot head straight forward. Why? As stated above and what not to do, you don’t want to hit head to head, so we want you to shoot your head forward to the nose, cheekbone, mouth area of their face.
After deploying the headbutt, immediately raise your hands up just in case the attack didn’t go the way you wanted and they decide they want to take this little scuffle and turn it into a full on Donnybrook, a.k.a. a fight.
Lastly have a snappy smart ass one liner ready to use when all is said and done, for example “make sure you shut your pie hole or it gets worse from here”. or “well now, you’ve got the bone structure of a woman and skin like a newborn baby, quit your crying!”
Final thoughts, a headbutt is usually a fight starter far more than a fight stopper. So don’t throw a head butt, if you’re not ready to throw down. Remember everyone has a phone nowadays and the second two people start arguing or bickering, out comes everybody’s phones, also known as “time to start chanting Worldstar”. So if this is going to end up on the Internet then you better be able to deploy the headbutt and deploy it fast and effectively.
I hope you found the article interesting, educational and informative. Stay safe and be a nightmare for bad guys.