Coronavirus Conspiracy Tin Foil Hat
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Coronavirus Conspiracy: An Illuminati Bioweapon and Other Misinformation

Conspiracy theories are NOT FACTS and the article below is meant to be satire. Question everything and make sure to follow REAL world updates in the coming weeks on our sister sites and Stay safe, stay healthy and try to keep a sense of humor in these uncertain times.

Put on your tinfoil hat … it’s showtime.

Banks in China are destroying potentially infected cash. Dogs are in quarantine. Whole cities are closing down, and Bill Gates is standing in the wings, the strings of the world’s great puppets clinched in his fists. His bioweapon—fresh from the Wuhan laboratory test tubes—has been unleashed on an unsuspecting globe of people who will all need his expensive antidote. Ahem, I meant “vaccine.”

And the rich get richer. (Insert old man Gates’ evil laugh here.)

Coronavirus Conspiracy Theories Abound

During times of uncertainty, fear and crisis in society, conspiracy theories usually sprout their duplicitous heads like a Hydra; dispel one and two take root in its place. Conspiracies are a way that people cope with the extreme uncertainty of the events, as they have difficulty coming to terms with something so large happening without an overlord pulling the strings.

But the flu can’t just be the flu. Zika was a bioweapon. The Black Plague was blamed on the Jews. 27 percent of the people in France believe that the government is hiding any harmful effects of vaccines. Conspiracies suggest that there are larger actors at play here, all cleverly crafting a coordinated con to create chaos and confusion. The Dow Jones plummeted. Gold prices fell.

Jamaica refuses to allow cruise ships to dock. People in Hong Kong have stopped shaking hands, and Amazon sellers are price gouging. At Walgreens and CVS, hand sanitizers are out of stock, and elsewhere, people are filtering their air through Playtex pads duct taped to their faces.

Most of the Coronavirus conspiracy theories trace their origins to Wuhan China, the epicenter of the initial outbreak. Wuhan has an infectious disease lab where the virus may have been smuggled to from Canada (with help from Chinese scientists at the University of Manitoba). The cover-up of the loss of the virus to China began with the “accidental” shooting down of Flight PS752 on Jan. 8, 2020. Canadians were aboard the flight, and many were students and professors from the University of Manitoba from the microbiology department.

First Cases

The Coronavirus conspiracy began with the first reported cases in December of 2019, and these cases were mostly related to the Huanan seafood market in Wuhan where anteater-like pangolins were sold for their medicinal scales. The market closed on Jan. 1 after it was discovered that pangolins play host to the virus. Scientists at Wuhan infected the popular delicacy with the coronavirus to study its effects in a real-world situation.

Meanwhile, China has locked down 750 million citizens and is greatly under-reporting the number the virus has killed as part of the cover-up. Since it’s a biological weapon, it’s designed to kill via a host of genetically modified strains of diseases. An example is encephalitis, which shuts down your immune system. It can spread without symptoms and also hide on bacteria. It is transported on most anything. You can get it multiple times, each worse than the one before it. The virus won’t kill you, but pneumonia will.

Where Is Everybody?

Since the introduction of the virus, the “1 percent” of the world like Bezos, Gates, the Clintons and Zuckerberg have been conspicuously absent from the public sight.

The Coronavirus conspiracy was developed to ban public events, like protests in Hong Kong, revoking people’s freedoms around the world. Stay indoors. Listen to what we tell you.

Your Money’s Infected

Follow the money. In 2017, the World Bank created a bond-purchase program that would be used to finance the Pandemic Emergency Financing Facility. Investors would receive a payday if the World Health Organization (WHO) officially recognized a pandemic before the bonds matured. Care to guess when they mature? July of 2020. In mid-March, WHO officially named COVID-19 a pandemic… now see where the money goes and you’ll see who pulls the strings. . After all, Dr. Michael Ryan of the WHO said this: “All Predictions are important. Most predictions are wrong. And I think we must be careful with that.”

China and Russia are coercing the media to exaggerate the “flu season”. They want to create an economic disaster so they can buy stocks and bonds at deflated prices. The goal is to expand their communistic sphere of influence. In collusion are the Democratic National Party, ready to dump the blame on Trump to make him look inept and villainous.

What’s Really Happening?

The epidemic story explodes in the press: “The virus is spreading” and “Containment will be impossible” are top news stories. New cases inundate resources in other countries. Cruise ships with patients onboard are returning to the United States. Fear follows, panic on its heels. The stores clear out of water and supplies. Panic intensifies, but never fear! Big Pharma has a vaccine; it’s expensive, but the government is subsidizing the cost. It’ll just have to raise taxes to do so.

After all, Dean Koontz warned us about the pandemic and this conspiracy in his 1981 novel, The Eyes of Darkness, about a man-made virus with a 100-percent fatality rate. The name of the virus: Wuhan-400.

Find the truth. Know what’s right. And above all else, don’t take off your tinfoil hat. They’ll see you otherwise.

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